Friday, September 28, 2007

PLIMBO - the Part I Really Don't Like

I had a negative blood test on Monday. My last progesteron.e was on Sunday evening. AF has not yet arrived. Last time, it took over a week after stopping the progerston.e to show up. I'm in Plimbo (period limbo) and it makes me think I have messed with my body just a little too much.

As I start taking the meds, have the IUI, go through the 2ww, I am intensively aware of what is going on with my body. How many follicles in each ovary and what size, when I ovulate, when implantation might occur, when an accurate result might show up on a hpt. And then I have the blood test and now, 5 days later, I have no frickin clue as to what is going on with my body. I am just in Plimbo. Do I have a cyst? 5 cysts? What is taking AF so long to show up?

I probably have a cyst. I am assuming that as I've had them after every medicated cycle. I don't know how long it will take for AF to arrive but meanwhile I have ugly brown spotting. I feel like something is wrong. I never feel that way during the first 28 days of the cycle but the next days/weeks, I feel bad. Not hopeful. Not freeing. But "something is wrong and I don't know how to fix it".

I am more patient this time. I am not continuing to poas just to make sure the blood test was correct. I am calmer about it. But still, I don't like it. I like it when my body works like clock work. 28 day cycles (though for the last year or two, they have been 26 or 27 day cycles).

This is where I am today - still mulling over the donor egg option but feeling crappy about my body.

I hope all are well.


CAM said...

I do think that all these drugs throw our normal cycles out of whack. I know your body will work itself out. Feel better.

Chris said...

So sorry that you are a current resident of Plimbo. I know it is no fun and can only imagine your frustration. I hope something gets moving quickly, and that you don't have any cysts.

Mrs. B said...

Oh I am so sorry everything seems to be sucking so bad right now! I do like the donor egg idea though, I think that if you decide to do that it may give you some peace. Just be thankful there are options, 10-20 years ago we wouldn't have any options available at all!!

I am planning on posting all the "details" of the news tomorrow. I've just been studying for these stupid tests all weekend!

jeanie said...

I am usually just a lurker, but I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry that this cycle didn't work out and that I really sympathize with the difficulty of your decision. Hope you don't mind me sharing my take on it. Aside from money concerns with IVF (and I know those are BIG concerns), if you choose DEs, time is not a big concern (at least not from a biological clock perspective). Maybe one IVF with your own eggs would answer some questions for you that might make you feel more secure with the choice to go with DEs (if, of course, you don't get pregnant). I'm a "what if" thinker-- maybe you're not. For me, this might clear up some of the doubt. Just my 2 cents.

I hope AF turns up soon. Good luck with your difficult decision.

Kim said...

Limbo sucks. I'll be sending you positive thoughts for whatever you decide...