Wednesday, September 19, 2007

To POAS or Not to POAS

that is the question, isn't it?

I had the IUI 10 days ago and I'm starting to want to know the outcome. I mean, I know I being hopeful is fun and all but it really does start to wear out its welcome and doubt starts moving in on its place.

There's only one way to alleviate the hope/doubt vicious cycle and that is to poas. But poasing doesn't really solve the problem when you do it too early because if you get a negative (which I always have), then you (or at least I) will think that it was too early and so then you have to poas the next day and you haven't really alleviated the situation at all - you are only more convinced that it is a bfn and you start using all your energy to turn it into a BFP for the next morning. It's crazy making.

Now that I written that, I don't want to poas. I don't want to get into that cycle right now. It's not that I don't want to know, it's that I don't have the energy to will the damn stick to be positive after a negative that was taken too early. (did that make sense).

So, I will wait until day 13 - which will be Saturday. I think that is a good day to get a definitive answer (and if it is a bfn, I only have to test one more time on Sunday). My beta is Monday.

The only reason I even think I have the will power to hold off is that I don't have any hpt in the house so I will have to actually go buy some if I am going to test. And I don't feel like going to the store. I guess I am in a malaise. That two-thirds through the 2ww malaise. I'll have to find a better name for that.

I hope all are well. Congrats to Karen at My Perky Ovaries on her 3 little ones!


CAM said...

Ah...the age old infertility POAS or not to POAS!!!
The waiting can make you crazy and you feel like you'll be better after you POAS. I am a fan of doing it the night before or morning of my beta. It preps me for the doctor/beta visit.
I would at least wait until 12 or 13 days...or else it may be too early and it will just depress the hell out of you to see a negative stick.
Hang in there - you've almost made it through the dreaded 2ww!

~Carrie said...

You have more willpower than I do! I actually did go one month without POAS until about 2 days before my scheduled beta because the month before that I started at day 10 and just got made every day when it was negative. But usually I start on day 10 b/c I am impatient but it is probably better to wait. Day 12 or 13 is probably best (as cam suggested)

I have six pregnancy tests at home (online cheapies) so I know I'll probably give in and start on day 10 (and just get mad at myself!)

Hang in there!!

Mrs. B said...

LOL, you sound just like me!!! That's what I do, I POAS way to early and then rationalize the BFN by saying "well, it was too early so there's still a chance..." and then I POAS the next day and so on and on. I agree that the wait can kill you, the not knowing is torture. Isn't this fun?!?

And on that happy note: GOOD LUCK!! I'll check in to see your results when I get back from Dallas!

Chris said...

Oh such a tough question! I hope you have more strength than I ever do and can hold out. I will continue to hold a good thought for you these last few days!