I am starting to feel good about this cycle and I know that is a dangerous place to be. When it started I was not hopeful at all - just going through the motions since this is what I am doing with my life right now. I was dreading the start of my cycle because I didn't really want to go to the doctor again and get wanded and have blood drawn - since I skipped two long cycles, I had gotten out of the habit.
I didn't have to come late to work and sneak out for blood tests and take secret calls in the afternoon where I shut my door and whispered about medicines. I was just going about my normal life and even getting back to feeling normal.
Then last week it all started again. I did a lousy job with the shots - I have marks all over my stomach. I was late to a meeting at work. I screwed up ordering my medicine ( actually some of my meds expired from last time and I had to order them again). I've had three separate deliveries arrive on my porch in small Styrofoam boxes.
I am consumed by my fertility treatments. I went from 0 - 60 in just a few days.
But I've been sleeping, I've been relaxed, I haven't been hopeful.
Until today with the news of 5 even sized follicles. I know, there still has to be at least one good one in there but these are better odds than we've had. And if it doesn't work, at least my response to the meds is going in the right direction. The last 4 months have been a mess and I was starting to think this just wasn't going to work for me. That we couldn't even consider IVF because I would always have one lead follicle and not be able to generate more eggs. But these five follicles are something to talk about (which I did - I called my mother and bragged about them).
So, there you have it - I haven't even had the IUI, haven't felt odd twinges in my gut, there's no blue vein in my breast, I am not even the slightest bit queasy, I am not 13 pdo with no sign of af, - but I am ready to poas.