Chances

These past two days I was in San Francisco for a work meeting and I stayed with one of my brothers. I haven't told any of my siblings about our fertility treatment - only my mom knows. I don't know why - I guess I don't want a lot of people asking about how it is going when it is obviously not going so well.

I have a few people that I have to update each cycle (some close friends, my mom) and of course, you out there, but I try to minimize the number of people I have to report to. Maybe if I had good news once in a while, I wouldn't feel it necessary to protect myself like this. But when I share, for example, that I have 8 follicles and I'm really excited, frankly, to the uninitiated, it takes a whole lot of explaining and in the end, 8 follicles is a nice intermediary step, but if there isn't a pregnancy from one of those 8, it's not really all that great of news, is it?

Anyway, my brother was discussing the idea of he and his wife having another child and we got to talking about children and I opened up to him. I didn't tell him all of the grusome details and but I let him know that we have been having treatments for 10 months now and I told him about my upcoming surgery.

He then told me that he and his wife tried for about 6 months to get pregnant and then went to a doctor and found that she had fybroid cysts in her uterous. She had surgery (more extensive than what I will have) and they removed them. Shortly after that, she became pregnant. Of course this just fueled the flames of hope for me. My doctor doesn't think I have fybroid cysts but she won't know for sure until she goes in there.

Maybe when my ute is all cleaned out, I'll have a better chance. Not a great chance but a better chance. I'll take it.