Thursday, February 7, 2008

At Times I Waiver

At times I waiver on this egg donor decision but then something happens and my resolve returns.

Yesterday, a friend announced her second pregnancy. Yes, I'm happy for her. But yes, I'm pissed that I'm not that person. My other very close friend got married about 6 months before me, she is a year or so younger than me, and she already has two children - and the youngest is 1 years old!

I want to have children. That's the issue. I don't want to futz around anymore with trying to get some follicles, hoping my eggs are good, etc. I don't care about that anymore. I just want to get on with it. I'm ready to have a child in my life. I'm over ready, actually. So, a donor egg seems to be a great way to make this happen.

So, I'm going in to my meeting with the doctor tomorrow very resolved. Though I still want to take a month or two off...


~Carrie said...

Oh, those pregnancy announcements. They always sting.

I've been reading your blog since September and kept hoping for your BFP. It just isn't fair. It's a shame there is no other way to determine egg quality without having to go through the expense of IVF.

I admire your determination and focus on the donor egg issue. I know how you feel, wanting to be proactive and not wanting to screw around with the same old same old, when that just doesn't seem to be working. And you need a month or two off I imagine! In fact, your Dr. may have insisted on that anyway. I hope things start to turn around for you and you finally get the child you deserve. The child will be very lucky.

Chris said...

Yup, those announcements always hurt a little, especially when it seems to come so easily for some. And waivering is normal. I did/do it as well. Finally, for me, I had to decide that I wanted to be a parent more than I wanted to be pregnant. We'll just have to see how long it takes.