Sunday, April 15, 2007

Failed IUI #3?

Welcome to my blog. I have been reading lots of other infertility blogs over the past months and it has been so helpful to me. Thank you all who share your stories. I am starting this blog in the assumption that it is also therapeutic to the blogger. I had hoped my visit to infertility land would be brief and thus I didn't consider starting one until now, the night before my blood work for IUI(with injectibles) #3.

14 days ago, after giving myself 17 shots in my gut, I had IUI #3. There were 3 good follicles so we are hoping there were 3 good eggs though I've been told that at my age, only 3 out of 10 eggs are any good.

My calculations, after 3 IUIs (2 on Clomid), there must have been at least 7 eggs that have met up with the millions my husband's sperm. Surely, we're getting to the point where the odds are stacked with me??? 30% of the eggs are good, 7 eggs have gone out of the gate so I'm figuring that one or maybe two should have been good. The doctor says I only need one good one.

The rest of my plumbing looks good - according to the HSG, the Saline test (what do you call it?), and all of the other various and sundry tests. The problem is, I'm 41. I just turned and when I told the Physicians Assistant at the RE that they needed to change the age at the top of my file, she gave a big sigh and looked at my with sad eyes. 41 is getting up in the world of fertility. This is my great disappointment at meeting my husband so late in life. I don't regret the years of singledom but why didn't we meet 5 years earlier?? We got married just after a year of dating and I was nearly 38 at the time. I didn't worry when I didn't get pregnant right away - we just kept trying to time things better. I finally went to the fertility doctor about 5 months ago and I wish I had gone 2 years ago.

Anyway, my period has not started. No sign of it. For the past two IUIs, I started spotting 12 days after IUI and started my cycle on the 13th day. This is the 14th day. So, I broke down because I was getting excited and manufacturing all sorts of symptoms such as nausea, sore breasts, etc. and took a hpt. BFN. Now, I am spending my energy coming up with reasons that it was a false negative and still hoping for positive tomorrow through the blood test. Isn't the mind a wonderful/horrible thing?

If it is truly a negative, we hope to do one more injectible IUI (I still have the meds) and if that fails, we'll try IVF. We've been putting off IVF even though the doc recommends it because our insurance doesn't cover it. It does cover IUI's. So, here we are. Waiting.


Marianna said...

Dear fellow struggler.

We have so much in common. The injectibles, the failed IUIs and what I consider to be the most horrible thing of all, the torturous waiting. I'm only 24 years old, and my husband is 25. I guess I have good eggs, considering my age. My husband has good swimmers they tell us. They even say that I produce a 15-20 load of follicles each cycle. So why is it taking us forever to get our little miracle? I'm not sure. I don't know if you have any answers either. I just wanted to say, no matter the age, or the situation, we're in the same boat, waiting, hoping, crying, etc. Think of it this way, once you get your positive results, you'll (and I'll) look back and think of all this struggle as being totally worth it.

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