Saturday, April 12, 2008

Once again with the waiting...

I still haven't heard anything from the RE about the egg donor. I don't think this is a good sign. Either they haven't asked her yet or she is taking time to think about it. I left a message yesterday and I hope they will call me on Monday to at least let me know what is going on. We are ready to move forward.

If you are in the mood for a good cry, check out the International Infertility Film Festival I didn't know I was in the mood for a good but I followed some links and watched some videos that broke my heart.

I also saw this one which was interesting: DIyoutube Film by a father of children conceived with donor sperm. He brings up some interesting points about the impact on the child's sense of identity as he/she matures.

This is something I have worried about for our child(ren)(assuming this works and we have them). What will it be like to have a blank for one half of their lineage. I don't know how important that is. When I think of myself, I can see that I am part of my father's side and part of my mother's side. I clearly identify with both and have characteristics in common with my cousins on those sides. I don't know what it would be like to not be related to one side of the family. And my side of the family is much bigger than my husbands. I have a lot of siblings, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, etc, and most of them live in the same state. Our child(ren) will spend a lot more time with their cousins on my side of the family and I wonder what it will be like for them to not be biologically related to the side of the family they have the greatest identity with. My husband's siblings live out of state and their children are much older than ours will be.

I feel strongly that we will tell our child the truth as his/her age permits. I don't want it to be a shameful secret. I want them to have a healthy sense of who they are.

Anyway, lots to think about. And I don't even know if the egg donor will actually do it yet and if she won't, we are back to square one picking out a new donor and waiting to hear if she will accept. I thought the hard part was making the decision to go with an egg donor. Now it is all about waiting. I guess I am used to that...


CAM said...

Ugh...the waiting...isn't there a Tom Petty song about that?
It feels like you hurry up and make decisions only to sit and wait for the result.
Stay positive - if this donor doesn't work out than I know you will decide on another. We will be here to support you through it all.

Chris said...

While waiting really does stink at least there is a silver lining. You truly have time to contemplate just how you will approach everything. You have time to let your thoughts settle. You have time to just be. And I really do hope it's a short wait for you!

Swim said...

Hopefully, you will hear something soon. Waiting is one of the worse parts of IF.

You will make a great mom and will be able to help your child(ren) will any questions or feelings they are having about where they come from. The most important thing is that you will love them more than anything else and they will know it.