Monday, November 10, 2008

The Weird Thing is...

It is much easier to tell people we are trying to adopt than it was to tell them we were going through fertility treatments. You'd think these two paths (adoption and treatments) were not both focused on the same thing: building family. But they are.

When we tell people we are trying to adopt, they are happy for us and it is very positive. When you tell people you are going through fertility treatments, they don't know what to say or they say the wrong thing. If it is not an awkward conversation, it is a depressing one.

Somehow, adoption is a universally positive thing (at least so far). People get really excited to talk about it and the conversation usually ends with me feeling more excited.

We have one more PRIDE class (that's the 9 week required class if you want to adopt through the county foster care system). I learned a lot when I was going through fertility treatments; this is the same way. I am learning about what a child adopted at an older age needs to develop into a healthy adult. I am learning about the foster system and the court system. I have to say, I find it interesting.

What is also interesting is that here we are, anticipating becoming parents, and we have no idea what number or type of children will be coming into our home. We are open to adopting siblings (3 at the most) though we would also take a baby. So when we talk about our future family, all options are on the table. Makes it a little hard to plan but it is also like anticipating a gift (or 3). Kind of exciting.

This is my update.

8 comments:

Sue said...

That's exciting news, and I'm so happy to hear people are being so supportive. Please keep us posted on your progress!

Lorraine said...

it must be sooooo nice to have such a positive experience. And it is so lovely and generous to be open to adopting siblings. That seems so much less like adoption as an alternative to having a baby - that you are allowing adoption to be it's own unique event, unfolding as it may. Lovely!

millie said...

Isn't it strange how the experiences are so different?

Best of luck on your current journey. It sounds great that you're keeping your options open. All of my friends that have been down the road you're on have gotten placements very quickly and are big proponents of building a family this way.

Summer said...

It's great to see an update from you.

I think people are more positive about adoption because they know more about it (or at least think they know). Whereas people have a harder time relating to fertility treatments.

In any case, I'm happy there are people around you that you can share the excitement with! And I'm excited for you, too!

Wordgirl said...

I've been thinking about you -- and I'm so excited for this new journey you're heading towards -- I understand what you're saying -- it also seems, doesn't it, that so many people want to steer you towards adoption when you're addressing infertility -- *sigh* We understand.

I can't wait to hear what comes next!

Love,

Pam

Mrs. B said...

Thanks for the update, I worry about you.

DE Mommy said...

That is so exciting! I'm so happy to hear you're moving down the path to your family. Hooray!!!!

Marta Ds said...

I am happy to share my experience. I contacted Ukrainian clinic BioTexCom after having negative experiences from a center in the UK. The UK center was negative because of my age at 46. I decided to look elsewhere. I contacted various IVF clinics throughout Europe. I was apprehensive about the language barrier and the clinic helping to create a wonderful baby. I contacted the coordinator at BioTexCom who was immediately receptive, very professional and answered all my questions and concerns. They were very clear from the beginning about what the treatment would entail including precise costs and timings which were important to us. We opted for a donor whom this clinic carefully matched to me in physical appearance such as height, eye and hair color and interests. The process was very simple and flights were booked easily to Kiev. The housing which was given by BioTexCom was fantastic. The clinic was immaculate and the manager I encountered spoke excellent English and was extremely professional and put us at ease. The treatment was very straightforward. We were kept up to date at every step and there was no anxiety or stress. We are delighted with not one but twin gorgeous babies who fit in perfectly in appearance to our other children. I could not praise this clinic and their staff enough as they were all truly amazing and so understanding and supportive. I’m so grateful to them for helping us create truly wonderful babies and making our family complete!