Friday, May 11, 2007

Are you sure it's not a baby? I asked

I started spotting yesterday and today there was actual flow. This is quite early - I'm only on cycle day 18. 2 cycles ago, I had a 19 day cycle so I figured that was happening again. I called the RE and scheduled an appointment for today. I didn't want to try to start a cycle but I wanted them to take a look and tell me what is going on. I went in armed with my calendar of my recent cycle lengths - it has been a crazy few months; before I started any treatments, I was extremely regular. Last cycle I had a big follicle on day 2 so I wanted to be sure that on day one (if this was day 1) that I had antral follicles and not grown ones. Last month I was out of whack and I was hoping that this month I would get back on track.

The PA saw me and we went over my recent cycles and the fact that this is quite early. She said the main reason would be a cyst. A little wanding and there we saw it - a big circle on my right ovary (the same ovary where I had the one leading follicle last month). She said, "it's a cyst alright" and I, ever hopeful, said "are you sure it's not a baby?" I mean, it looked just like the first ultrasound pictures of a developing fetus. A black circle in a bunch of fuzzy gray. I had one second of hope when I saw the ultrasound and then I realized that that was a silly thing to think.

My lining still looked thick so she surmised that this is bleeding from the cyst and not my period. It did come on rather quickly and didn't feel like normal first day. And true enough, tonight, there is no more flow. She said that I will probably get my period next week. But meanwhile, I am definitely benched for the month.

Of course I came home and checked in with dr. google and it seems that f can lead to cysts. It should go away on its own in a few weeks or a month or two. As far as I know, this is the first cyst that I have had. I can't remember any bleeding like this in the past. It's all a little disconcerting. As I am often reminded, at 41, I don't have a lot of time to be sitting on the bench. I need to get back in the game.

On the other hand, I haven't started my period so we can't say for sure that I am not pregnant. My breasts don't hurt any more, though, so I have a feeling that this cycle is a bust.

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