Saturday, May 17, 2008

Still plodding a long; still on the pill

Not much to report here. I'm still taking birth control pills and waiting for my next instructions. It's looking like nothing will happen until June. I thought I might start some shots next week but a phone message from the RE yesterday said that it would be the next week.

Here's what has happened:
- the egg donor has completed the blood tests and so far, everything has come back perfect. They are still waiting for the results of one more test (I can't remember what it is)
- the egg donor has had a psych evaluation which went well
- I've given $500 to an attorney who will make the legal contracts for us regarding the egg donation.
- the RE's office has called to give me the financial work up - what my exact costs will be. I haven't received it yet. They said they would e-mail it. I'm hoping that we can come in under $25,000 for everything. That would be nice.

I'm am feeling pretty calm about the whole thing right now. I guess because I am kind of in limbo. It seemed like everything was happening so fast and we had to scramble to get the money and now, we are just waiting again. Once June gets here, it will all happen quickly. And then my anxiety will rise, I'm sure.

My biggest worry is that it will not work. Smart or not, we have put all our eggs in this basket. It seemed like a great plan but I'm plagued with the what ifs. What is none of her eggs fertilize? What if none make it to transfer? What if there are none left to freeze? What if none implant?

What if I don't get pregnant AND there are no embryos on ice? That's my worst fear. DH is very confident about all this but he doesn't read blogs so he doesn't get that everything doesn't always work as planned.

Well, now I've stressed myself out. I can't control any of that so I've got to have faith that it will work. And if it doesn't, we'll regroup and make a plan F or G (I don't know what plan we are on now, but it's well past plan B).

I hope all are well. Enjoy the long weekend!


Summer said...

Husbands just don't realize all that can go wrong. Mine was the same way at the start of our cycle. And I think it's for the exact reason you state, that they just haven't seen what can happen. Funny thing is, now that I've had a positive beta my husband is anxious about the u/s because that was when we got the bad news last time. And that was something he knows can go wrong.

Enjoy the calm and lull if you can. Like you said, things will start up again soon enough!

Rebeccah said...

We do get ourselves tied into knots, don't we? Sometimes I think that ignorance may truly be bliss! Of course, I'll be keeping everything crossed for the best possible outcome for you! Summer is right -- enjoy the lull and try to take good care of yourself while you have the chance.

~Carrie said...

I can completely understand being anxious at times when you've invested so much in ths upcoming cycle - emotionally and financially. Needless to say, I'm hoping everything works out perfectly for you.

My DH thinks I'm totally nuts because I'm still concerned that something could go wrong - it's because, like you said, reading blogs makes you realize what can happen at any stage.

Swim said...

Checking in to see how things are going. I've been away from blogland for a while and anxious to find out about you.

Hope things are going well.