Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Time to fess up

Me. I need to fess up. I haven't written here in ages because things have, well, gone to hell in handbasket. That's a nice way to put it. Since this was a fertility blog and then became an adoption blog, I wasn't sure where this news fit in so I just avoided blogland altogether.

My husband left me.

Just a few days before the home visit from the social worker. Who I could not call off as it was a Monday first thing in the morning appointment. So I explained why he wasn't home and then just cried. I asked her to close our case.

It's been three months. I am doing better now but, needless to say, the last few months have totally sucked.

I don't know what I am going to do parent wise. I am seeing my therapist and he is helping me sort through everything and figure out what to do with the rest of my life.

I didn't think this would happen. I thought we were in it for the long term.

Sorry for the bummer news. Just wanted to explain what happened.

30 comments:

niobe said...

I'm so incredibly sorry. I know (from sad personal experience) how devastating it can be. Thinking of you.

perhcancetodream said...

So very, very, sorry to hear this. I was just thinking about you yesterday and wondering how you were doing because you hadn't posted in so long.

I know it might not seem like it now but you WILL come out of this on the other side. Hang in there and know that people are rooting for you.

Jennifer said...

Oh no, that's just horrible. I'm so sorry that happened. I was wondering how you were doing - just didn't expect such sad news! I hope you're doing okay - seeing a therapist is great. Stay tough!

Meghan said...

Oh wow...I am so SO sorry to hear this. I'm glad you are seeing a therapist. Having someone to talk to can be such a huge help. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts as you go through this and will be waiting to celebrate with you as you come out the other side!

Wordgirl said...

Like everyone here I hope you know that my thoughts and heart are with you.

There's a book I've found really comforting -- Pema Chodron's The Places that Scare You -- that and Marianne Williamson's A Return to Love -- I wish I could do more than offer those titles -- but please know I'm thinking of you.

Love,

Pam

Christy said...

While I'm so glad to hear from you, I'm so sorry to hear of your news. I'm sending wishes and prayers of peace your way.

I'm happy for you that you are seeing a therapist to help you find your way. What a smart lady you are!

I hope you'll continue to blog for the outlet and support. Keep in mind that blogs evolve over time, so don't worry about mucking up the topics. Or, start another . . .

Hope to hear from you again soon . . .

Summer said...

Like the others I had wondered how you were doing.

I'm so so sorry to hear this news. I am thinking of you.

We have Angel Wings said...

That's horrible. I am so very sorry to hear this news.

You're in my heart and thoughts. Please keep us posted. We're all here for you.

Me said...

I'm so sorry. My husband and I have been through a lot the last few years... and last summer we very nearly got divorced. Very, very nearly. I know that's not the same. But I understand how hardship can bring a relationship to the breaking point and then beyond. Again, I'm so sorry.

Lorraine said...

Just wanted to offer my sympathies to you - I can't even imagine how awful this must have been - be - for you, especially given the timing. Hang in there, and lots of good wishes to you.

Ms. Perky said...

I am so, so very sorry. I hope that you'll continue to write in your blog - blogs do morph in purpose, but can be so cathartic for you and I think you know we're all here to support you, no matter why you're writing at any given point in time.

I hope your therapist is able to help you work through your needs in the here and now - and I hope ultimately you are able to figure out how you want to move forward.

Rachel said...

I am so sorry. Infertility and adoption take their toll on so many couples, and it's awful to think that instead of transitioning to a family of three you are about to be just one. I do hope you continue to write and that you are getting as much support as possible from your friends.

Phoebe said...

I'm so sorry! I can't imagine what you have been through, but I'm giving you a big cyber hug!! I hope you continue to write - we'll be here for you! I hate it when life throws us a curveball!

Sue said...

Thanks for sharing your update, even though I'm really sorry it's not better news. Hang in there - I will be thinking of you.

annacyclopedia said...

I'm here for the first time and came from the LFCA but want you to know that I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope that you find the support and clarity you need to get through this time.

Cibele said...

I am here from Lost and Found, I know how you feel, my husband left me as well 6 months, shortly after we had a baby (after 3 years of infertility). My heart hurts for you my dear. If you want to talk please contact me at cibelesec at hotmail.com . I have a private blog I would like to invite to read. HUGS

Queenie. . . said...

I am so very sorry that life has thrown you this curveball. I hope coming months bring you clarity and peace.

Rebeccah said...

I'm awfully sorry to hear this. Wishing you peace and comfort as you move forward. Please take good care of yourself.

Amy said...

I'm so sorry. Sending you ((HUGS))

Mrs. Chop said...

I'm so very sorry. I'll be thinking about you.

Jendeis said...

I am so, so sorry. Wishing you peace in your life.

The Unproductive One said...

I'm so very sorry,

Nothing I can or will say will help ease the pain you're feeling, so I won't even try but please know you're in my thoughts.

xxx

Orodemniades said...

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry.

Aunt Becky said...

i'm so, so sorry. i'm so very sorry.

SassyCupcakes said...

I'm so sorry. *hug*

jodie38 said...

Because of course you haven't been through enough with the infertility bit. I've been checking in on you periodically, and I'm so, so sorry to hear this. Keep hanging in there - the universe owes you some major happiness, and it needs to cough up. Now.

Thinking of you, and sending hugs....

Mrs. B said...

Oh honey, I am so very, very sorry.

Kami said...

I am so sorry. I can only imagine the depth of your heart ache.

I hope this blog might continue so we can know how you are doing.

I'm sorry I am so late in visiting.

DE Mommy said...

Holy Shit. I am stunned and am so sorry to hear this. I hope you are doing as well as can be expected and getting better.

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